Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
