Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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