He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
