Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
