epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
