we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize