I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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