D3 body, D1 cock
My balls are so social today.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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