I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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