Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
