He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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