And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
