And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
