Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
