He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
