Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
