guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
