We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
