I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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