It's Friday. Sex?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
