Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
