Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
