that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
