Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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