Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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