yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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