That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
