There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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