Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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