Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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