just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
