and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
