what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
