there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
