is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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