Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
