His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
