if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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