she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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