next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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