At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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