lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
