we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize