you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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