The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
