Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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