You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
