Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
