Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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