He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
