My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
