Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize