how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize