Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
