we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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