i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
