seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
