Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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